Sunday, December 23, 2007

Dear Readers,

Please continue to purchase copies of Snapshots In Memory of Ben at

Thank you!

Of the thirty or so chapters of my book, the chapter entitled "The Last Time" underwent the most revisions. Here is a revised ending that will appear in a literary anthology around Pesach 2008. More information forthcoming. In addition, a slight variant of my Succos article that was published in, Stepping into the Sukkah will also appear in the same anthology.

"After I dropped Rabbi Louis off, I was drawn back to my old house where both my heart and younger son Zac were. Ben's mom was home too. I thought of her plaintive cry with all its anguish and horror. It haunted me. I circled the block repeatedly agonizing about what I'd do. I could not forget Ben's house was no longer my home and hadn't been for a year and a half. My dilemma was not over whether I should I go in, but if I could. Ben was our child, Avrum ben Avrum v' Yehudit, and while true we loved him in common, his mom and I could not share the plague of his death as we had the joy of his life.

I drove off to my apartment. .

I stood on the threshold of my door. It was there I had kissed his stubbly cheeks the previous Pesach. Funny what we remember when we remember. I began to sob. Ben, Ben … I spoke to you just hours ago but you died in silence. I'm already lonely for you, forever.

Wednesday, the eve of Thanksgiving 2000, ended quietly together with my world as I had understood it just several hours before. I dozed off a drink or two later hoping the morning might come sooner than it did."

2 comments: said...

Beautiful, haunting writing expressing the hollowness of love lost. I cannot promise that it will ever get better, only easier to bear--like an old scar instead of of fresh wound.

I share in your deep sorrow.

Alan aka Avrum ben Avrum said...

Dear Mallie,

Simply ... thank you.